By Dr. Don Dunlap
Pastoral Counselor
There are certain preliminary steps that parents should take before they spank their children.
Family Counseling Ministries -
Have you ever found yourself involved in a discussion
where you happened to mention the word “spanking,” and suddenly you got the
E.F. Hutton response—everyone stopped their conversations and stared at you as
if you had two heads?
It seems that no matter how articulate or persuasive we may be
in our reasons for employing physical discipline, most people perceive us as a
throwback to some uncivilized age.
One of the reasons that many people react so negatively to
the proposition of spanking a child is because they have seldom (if ever) seen
it done properly. They have generally witnessed spankings that were
administered as a last resort, when the parent was frustrated, tired,
embarrassed, angry or even in a fit of rage.
Many parents who have never witnessed a biblically
administered spanking react negatively to the prospect of spanking children.
They conclude that physical punishment is an outdated, inferior, and even
abusive form of discipline. In the 5th installment of a 20-part
series on child discipline, Dr. Don Dunlap examines the preliminary steps that
God requires us to follow before we spank a disobedient child.
Have you ever found yourself involved in a discussion
where you happened to mention the word “spanking,” and suddenly you got the
E.F. Hutton response—everyone stopped their conversations and stared at you as
if you had two heads?
It seems that no matter how articulate or persuasive we may be
in our reasons for employing physical discipline, most people perceive us as a
throwback to some uncivilized age.
One of the reasons that many people react so negatively to
the proposition of spanking a child is because they have seldom (if ever) seen
it done properly. They have generally witnessed spankings that were
administered as a last resort, when the parent was frustrated, tired,
embarrassed, angry or even in a fit of rage.
Perhaps they were victims of physical abuse themselves
when they were children. They recoil at the thought of putting their own
children through what they perceive to be similar cruelty.
Most people today believe that spanking a disobedient child is
tantamount to abuse.
They conclude, therefore, that spanking children is an
outdated, inferior form of discipline. They view it as a method that
controlling, unenlightened, and uncreative people employ because they cannot
think of more innovative ways to handle disciplinary problems. They claim,
furthermore, that spanking will teach a child that physical aggression is the
correct way to handle conflict. They disparage people who insist upon
“resorting” to corporal punishment. They claim instead, that if we truly love
our children we will not inflict physical pain upon them.
God says we hate our children when we refuse to discipline
them biblically.
We find an interesting and sobering truth, however, in
Proverbs 13:24. God says that we actually hate our children if we refuse
to employ physical punishment as a means of disciplining them.
Although we, of course, do not harbor feelings of hatred
toward our children, our unwillingness to biblically discipline them is
scripturally equivalent to hating them, in God’s sight.
There are certain preliminary steps that parents should take
before they spank their children.
Many parents are interested in knowing how to discipline
children in a biblical manner. First, they must effectively communicate to
their children the fact that they are not the final authorities in their
children’s lives. God is.
Many people today believe the popular notion that getting
out from under the restraints of authority results in personal freedom.
Rebelling against authority does not result in freedom for any
child of God.
Mothers and fathers should help sons and daughters
understand that this deceptive philosophy actually leads to destruction.
Parents must teach their children the foundational scriptural truth that God
instructs all men, women and children to be under authority at all times. We
achieve true freedom when we willingly submit ourselves to God-ordained
authority.
Dr. Don
Dunlap, a pioneer in the placement of Pastoral Counselors in the offices of
Christian physicians, has conducted over twenty thousand appointments during
his ministerial career. His counseling practice includes adults, children and
families in crisis. Dr. Dunlap is committed to facilitating a network of
telephone counselors. His goal is to provide help for the many people unable to
meet face to face with a competent Bible-based counselor. For a complete
library of Dr. Dunlap’s articles, indexed by topic, go to Family Counseling Ministries. You
may also make an appointment for personal telephone counseling by clicking on Family Counseling Ministries.
Family Counseling Ministries is a Christianity.com
ministry Partner.
